are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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