You really coming over, don't trick.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
