Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
