just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
