everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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