he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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