thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
