I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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