Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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