Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
