She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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