my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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