Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
