and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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