i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
