This girl is more easily done than said...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
