he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its not stalking. its research.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Drunk is not a location!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
