i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You made out with two different species that night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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