he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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