I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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