i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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