just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
