Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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