Only a mothe r could love this liver
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
