I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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