I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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