im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
