Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
