Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
