I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize