I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
