maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Randomize
