Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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