I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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