He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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