Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
