yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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