I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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