His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
