he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
