is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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