would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
