I'm really into asian looking animals
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
