Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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