Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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