I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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