A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
