How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
