i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
