Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
