trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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