dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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