I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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