Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
