I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
