I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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