id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
