did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
