she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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