I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
