She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
