sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
