apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
