Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
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why do cheetos always look like penises
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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