she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
