Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
