he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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